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Time-Tested Tips: Working the Room
“Working a room” is a variant of the art of mingling, of blending into any given space containing groups of socializing people and becoming part of the action. Making the transition from foreground to background, from intruder to “one of us,” is no easy matter, and requires considerable finesse, especially in music circles. Here are some time-tested tips from author, MC Song Biz columnist and expert music-biz mingler Dan Kimpel:
• Give yourself time when you first enter the room. It’s fine to wait a while before striking up a conversation. We are sometimes so focused on ourselves that we are our own worst enemy, and often what people are most afraid of is sticking out like a sore thumb. Be easy on yourself. Learn to be alone for a while, and be comfortable. Access the dynamic of the room. Enjoy the art, the buzz of conversation. Take away the pressure by imaging that no one can see you.
• As stated elsewhere in this article, be very conscious of your reaction to alcohol. For some, a drink or two can be very helpful in assuaging anxiety, but nothing can be more detrimental to creating a good impression than being under the influence of demon liquor. A wine spritzer––wine diluted with soda water––may be a good compromise. Pace yourself.
• A great method in working a room is to seek out people who are standing alone. Introduce yourself; find out why they are attending the event, and then offer to introduce them to someone they might want to meet. Remember: if you walk into a room and you’re only there to take, people pick up on that. But if you’re a person who gives, it’s easy for others to give to you in return.
• Prepare to move on. Finding someone––anyone––to talk to is the only goal of most crowd-phobic people. You will be perceived as needy if you cling to the first person who says hello.
• Follow the 10-five rule for meeting and greeting. If you make eye contact with someone within 10 feet of you, you must acknowledge them with a nod or a smile. At five feet, you should say something—“Hello,” or “Good evening.” Don’t pretend you don’t see them.
• I learned this lesson the hard way: if five people are in conversation, feel free to join them; four, sure, walk right up; three, no problem. But beware: if two people are engrossed in conversation, unless you know them very well, it is never permissible to intrude. Odds are, they’re discussing something private (maybe even you!)
• Have you ever been in conversation with someone who seems to find whatever is over your shoulder more interesting than you? Being a good listener is the most important part of being a great conversationalist. Don’t let your eyes wander. If the person you’re speaking with does this, follow his stare with a wry comment, “I wanted to see what was so fascinating.”
Dan Kimpel is the author of several acclaimed music industry books, including Networking Strategies for the New Music Business and It All Begins With The Music. Visit http://dankimpel.com.
